Over the years many actors have donned the moniker of Bond; the latest being Daniel Craig. While Bond always oozes a suave, debonair personality that seems to be a potent solvent for ladies underwear- as they seem to fall at his slightest jester- He – Bond- isn’t the focus today. Neither are solvents for ladies underwear. Just to be clear.
What then is the focus if not bond. What else could be interesting enough incite me to write if it isn’t about the titular character ?
If you know Bond and, If – like me – you have seen almost all the old films cutesy of 28 days of Bond on TBS – something I never missed. Then you know all (older) Bond films have one great thing in common. That – of course – isn’t bond. That thing being: Connotative names for his female supporting star.
I do not know the social milieu of the 60s; but I assume if they were socially conservative. Then seeing the names of the Bond women must have been like going to the park on a sunny day and catching a young couple in the middle of an impromptu performance of ” Is it in yet?” or as its more popularly known: “Three minutes is not enough”
The first Bond lady and – perhaps – the most memorable is no other than Ms. Pussy Galore; played by one Honor Blackman .
When I first saw Goldfinger – at what tender age I cannot remember- my vocabulary was not as it is today. Consequently, the only word I recognised was “Pussy” – needless to say, I know you understand why. I am sure I was secretly smug in seeing this interesting feat of appellation. However, later on I learnt the meaning of ‘Galore’. It was then, that the true genius of this name dawned on me. You may find it risque or crude. I say it’s – wait for it!! – Pure gold!
Think about it? What would have gone through your mind if you walked into a room and saw a beautiful woman. You stroll over and say:
“The name’s Bond… James, Bond”
She looks at you, raises a neatly coiffured brow and responds:
“The name’s Galore… Pussy, Galore”
As the silence stretched on, and as your brain decided to reclaim its space in your head from is place on the floor.
Perhaps, you would respond: “Ahh, how nice to meet you Pussy… I mean Ms Galore. I do look forward to spending some time.. in.. your company”
The second Bond lady we will speak of. Is no less stunning in form or appellation than our first. She- however- has the honour of being a titular character of the film. Her name: Octopussy. Played by one Maud Adams.
If you are like me – traumatic as that realisation may be – you would begin to notice a pattern here. And seeing as how I am most unlike myself today. I would love for you to tell me what that pattern is; but I digress.
By the time I watched Octopussy. I must confess, my mind did not dwell in a perpetual state of connotative meanings and their relations. However, now I am forced to wonder if the name ‘Octopussy’ has anything to do with someone called Kegel and her capacity to flex. To quote the popular meme, with my own twist: “Do you even grip?”
The fourth Bond lady that we will discuss is Dr Holly Goodhead, Ms Goodhead; played by one Lois Chiles. the film: Moonraker.
After being introduced to Ms Goodhead. I think I would be in urgent need of a chiropractor. I am told my jaw occupying a permanent place at my feet is hardly natural.
The age of digital marketing is new to us. Being pioneered by social platforms like Facebook and Twitter. However, whomever named Ms Goodhead was ahead of his time – and should be revered by his peers. Because, it is quite honestly, one of the best methods of marketing I have ever encountered. Who would have thought Ms Goodhead , was a so talented an ‘orator ‘ that she needed an epithet. If nothing, after seeing this movie, I am sure Bond was a fan of ‘rhetoric’ especially with ‘orators’ like Ms Goodhead.
The final Bond lady we will discuss as our time together draws to a close. is none other than …..
Ms Goodnight. Ms Mary Goodnight. Played by one Britt Ekland. The film: The man with the Golden Gun.
In the greater scheme of things, her name is quite subtle. At least, it is in comparison to the others we’ve looked at thus far. Especially for those of you who lack a robust appreciation for connotative puns. Or who are so innocent – naive – that they see nothing connotative about her name in the first place.
Ms Goodnight represents another brilliant piece of marketing. I am sure Mr Bond enjoyed watching reruns of “things that go bump in the night’ with Ms Goodnight.
All these names taken together. I can only imagine meeting Pussy Galore, then to find out about Ms Octopussy, who is related to Ms Goodhead. Ultimately culminating in having….err I mean … meeting Ms Goodnight.