Ideas of an emaciated mind

There is never a definitive idea that I can pin down that gives me the impetus to write. But I can never write

something without proper motivation.

What IS definite is that my creativity is  inexorably linked with my need for cathartic release.

Being somewhat introverted – shocking, I know – there comes a time when I need to release pent-up ‘ideas’.

I find it is somewhat difficult to relate to people directly. Therefore, I write.

Not everything I write is prosaic. However, I hesitate to  use the term poetic. I feel that until I can reach a level of

quality and competency. That would be presumptuous; and may create expectations that I may be unable to

fulfill or meet adequately.

Here is a piece I have written. I am not sure how man iterations of this I have attempted.

However, it is at a point now that if I changed it. The tone I wanted to capture would be lost.

As I write this, I have no title. I rarely –  if ever –   assign titles.

However, I see the necessity. So I shall call this

On saying goodbye. 

If I could see you one more time,
I would have already resolved within my mind.
To tell you..I love.. the way you left without saying goodbye.
I do not laugh, I do not jest
You, I, and this relationship? I’m not ready.
No. Not quite yet
What is it that I want? I really wish I knew.
But apparently, here in this moment. It isn’t you.
I do not wish to be rapacious, or to hurt your feelings.
I have just realised, this: our love. Has reached its ceiling.
I do not like the way we can’t get along.
I know not what happened. Perhaps, we’ve been here far too long.
I do not like the way I feel, when I have not seen you for a week.
No. I’m not excited. I just feel bleak.
I do not love the way you pretend to care
When your love for me is like a Dirigible: filled with so much hot air.
I tell you these things not because I think it will matter,
But to cut through the fog, that is this senseless chatter
I know you will see this as no more than mere spiel.
Alas, I’ve gotten to express the way I feel.
Ere we go, and part ways forever.
I have one thing to say. That I thought quite clever.
If I could see you one more time,
I would have already resolved within my mind
To tell you, I hate that I never had the chance to say goodbye

Before I depart. This song… is a favourite of mine. I feel it somewhat encapsulates the tone – if not meaning – of what I was aiming for.  It is called: Water and a Flame. By Daniel Merriweather and Adele.

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3 thoughts on “Ideas of an emaciated mind

  1. well sometime I wonder why your who your are introvert and all with all the love I have for you when you write I do feel it expresses your inner soul and me a mare mortal had a glimpse of ur deepest inner soul and knowing that some where trapped inside is someone who will one day will be an extravert

    Like

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