Que Sera, Sera.

That first introduction to a woman is oft time nerve racking. Or rather that first meeting with the  women you find attractive is emotionally strenuous.

It is a difficult endeavour because to even contemplate introducing oneself. One must first conquer  the fear of rejection.

Think about it.There is a reason why it is called a crush. And it has nothing to do with a sugary concoction.The male ego is like Porcelain: Precious and easily shattered. And zealously guarded.

Conquer your fears, you must. Hmmm. Or crushed, you will be

Let’s assume that you have balanced the precarious endeavour of approaching a woman you like.

Here is one of the first thing you should not do:

Do not be blinded by her smile.

Don’t take this the wrong way. I do not mean that as a metaphor. Seriously, never assume the smile you get from a woman is one of invitation for a more passionate liaison at some distant point in the future. That your overactive imagination has concocted like the running plot of a Mills & Boon novel.

The reality is that a woman will greet you with a brilliant smile and a wave. Walk up to you give a hug so close, if you even twitched, it would be considered dry humping. At that point, you may be thinking “DAYUMM this is my lucky day!!”.

Unfortunately, no it’s not.

That smile that you see isn’t really directed at your per se. It is more of a tool for correct socially etiquette when greeting someone. That hug? Breathe my brother. Realise that is the way she greets all her male friends.

The male libido will translate this into subliminal signals of: “you’re hot, I like you”. The truth is, that interpretation is just the misconception of an overactive imagination. It is the result of having a sex life that is comparable to the Mojave: Dry, deserted and void of Life. Which would make that smile a mirage.

Trust me on this. I have had personal experience with this. I am not too proud to admit it. Though I am ashamed of how long I kept up my disillusionment.

I met this young woman. The first time we met she lit up like a light bulb. Being the naive socially inept person that I am – armed with an overactive imagination. I assumed she liked me.The reality could not have been further from the truth. I was so blinded by that smile. She had to reject me four times. Before it sunk in.

FOUR times!!!

To give you a visual of what that did to my ego. Visualise her smile as a wall and my ego as Humpty Dumpty.

Need I say more?

IF you induced “more” as being: All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Then you would have already induced that, “fall” , is a metaphor for rejection. It being responsible for the shattered ego.

IF not,you are welcome.

Now the second thing you should not do under any circumstances. Is misinterpret the name that a woman uses to address you.

A woman will greet you with a

General: “Hi Hun”

If you’re American: “Hey boo”

If you’re from the Caribbean: “Hey babes”

The truth?

She is just calling you that because she could not remember your name. She doesn’t know your name. Or she could not really give a flying (French connection U K) about what your name is, was or is going to be in the near future.

It might fill you with a sense of personal satisfaction and fulfillment when she address you with these supposed endearments. But believe me when I say. You’re just deluding yourself.

Keep your head, hands and feet securely inside the vehicle of your imagination. You will gain nothing from assuming.  Or letting your libido run wild like a cheetah on the hunt for a gazelle.

Keep your voice modulated and your pace steady.

And if all else fails.

Look her in the eyes and smile. While singing Hakuna Matata silently.

Well sorry to say that this  is the extent of my parable for this day.

I do so hope you did not find this overly pedantic.

Ciao!

Advertisements

One thought on “Que Sera, Sera.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s