Oh..so you mean you’re not Jamaican?

Jamaicans are like my guilty pleasure: Passionate, infuriating; but oh so captivating.
Perhaps I should quantify. By saying ‘Jamaicans’, I mean Jamaican women. But…ahh..the men are cool too.(I think)

People say Jamaicans are violent. I say they are passionate and – sometimes- misunderstood; but they are a really interesting set of people.
If I had to give a reason, on why I think Jamaicans are not liked. My reason would be: because they seem to pop up EVERYWHERE!

All jesting aside, and I do hope you realise I am jesting. Let me tell you the real reason Jamaicans are so cool. Ah– I mean, misunderstood.

Jamaicans are very honest. They will express exactly what is on their mind. More often than not, they will do this with an utter disregard for what YOU perceive as proper social etiquette .
Jamaican honesty works like this: They will stand in front of you, express their opinions about you. While pretending you don’t exist.

[Yes, I must admit, I have noticed it too. Jamaicans love their Oxymora.]

In fact, I think it would be safe to suggest that you: never ask a Jamaican to tell you the truth. In most cases, you WILL over-react. I think at this point, most Jamaicans must have developed a response to being asked for a truthful opinion, or for the truth in general. It would look something like this:

Slapping batmanTruth

If it wasn’t obvious before, let me say: I have a penchant for asides. Courtesy of my time in Love, Death and Poetry.If you are curious to know exactly what is Love, Death and Poetry. Lets just say, it was the title of a class I had. Yes, that really was the title. Forgive my use of colloquialism. But, dope title right?

Okay, back on track. Since I know you have exhausted your patience – and are on the verge of being catatonic – in waiting for my aside.

Here goes:

I just found out why Trinis (people from Trinidad) don’t like Jamaicans. The reason is – and this is new to me- outside of being native to the Caribbean. If you tell someone you’re from the Caribbean they do not know this is not code for: “I’m Jamaican”

Essentially, if you told someone you are from the Caribbean, and named an Island, they would probably think it’s in Jamaica too. SCORE ONE FOR JAMAICANS!

And for all those of you who do not recognise satire. No! Jamaica is not big enough to encompass other Islands. But, I digress.

Two friends were talking to this girl, perhaps I should mention that they are talking to this girl outside the West Indies? No? Good! I always knew you were sharp. 

The first guy said: “Hey I’m Jamaican”

The girl responds: “Oh wow that is so cool”
The second guy goes – and this is where the shit hits the fan –  “Hey i’m Trinidadian!”

The girl takes a moment to think – you know one of those moments when you are pondering on the secrets of life – then looks him in the eye, and responds ” Oh really! Where in Jamaica is that?”

Oh so your not Jamaican

Now, I don’t know about you..but the hilarity of that response cannot be explained with words. And should it be possible to do so; I fear my skills are not up to the task. But…you should know.. I found that hilarious!

Truth be told, Jamaicans are fun to be around. And just like any other nation in the world they have good people and bad people. Unfortunately, it seems the “bad” are used as the archetype of all Jamaicans.

Here is my Challenge to you: Talk to a Jamaican…you might be surprised how cool they can be. Oh, and before I forget. Not all Jamaicans smoke Cannabis sativa and asking a person you just met for said plant; will not score you any points.


2 thoughts on “Oh..so you mean you’re not Jamaican?

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