Thinking about you!! Wondering what I’m gonna do with forever!

Strolling among the debris of the emotional equivalent of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I begin to wonder. Why, like a Moth to a flame, are we attracted to these burning embers: Failed relationships?

When you are in a relationship and it ends. That should be it, right? It is standard knowledge that in our age most relationships are ephemeral entities Like a gossamer web of emotions: love, rage, jealousy and hate. All juxtaposed in a cacophonous melody called love.

 
Whenever you end a relationship, or one ends. There are two things that might occur mentally. You might decide you want nothing to do with the person anymore, that you really want them back: maybe because you saw them with someone else; maybe because you care, who knows.

 
I will not get into what happens when you search for a second chance in most- failed- relationships. To me that is akin to searching for a large body of water in the Mohave, to satiate your thirst: A pipe dream. (A very rusty pipe at that)

Mental digression aside. It is quite disconcerting, when you decide that your ex is better off without you. Yet you do not want anyone to have them. That is like having food you don’t want but refusing to give it to the starving child you pass on the street; with eyes so deep, the glimpse of her soul makes your heart skip a beat.

 
When you encounter your ex- and they are so happy, perhaps more than they ever were with you. Do you resent the person that is making them happy?

Or do you conduct self introspection: wonder what you did wrong, what you didn’t do and if you even got anything right?

Do you then torment your self with the idea that you failed? Do you convince yourself you could do better given a second chance?

Or do you take part in the age old dance? Inundating our passions with meaningless liaisons with meaningless people: The rebound. Not to say people are meaningless, just people who do not significantly matter to you.

I have always felt love- like anything else- is energy. When you love you build up that energy and store it. When you lose the subject of your affection, you have left over energy. And you Love them even more after having lost them because that energy has no where to go. You have lost your conduit. I mean, after all, if energy cannot be destroyed all we can do is transfer it.

This is where the rebound comes in; you find someone else to ease your mind into the idea of being single once more. Reckless and unfair as it may be – should you happen to be the ‘reboundee’- It is an act in which we all partake.This Valentine day, lets hope you have the one you love close by. If you aren’t so lucky. Well then, some cathartic music never hurts.

“Was gonna give you these flowers tonight…
As I watch you kiss him softly the same way you kissed me.
And I scream what am I gonna do with forever now?
(What do I do, what do I do?)
Tell me what am I gonna do with forever now?
(What do I do, what do I do?)”

Ne-yo: Forever Now


Happy Vlentines day Peeps. BLESS!

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